More Dodo Love

Recent polling has indicated that 10 out of 10 people have yet to read or even hear about The Dodo Bird’s Book of Love.  Our popularity remains consistent!  It’s a testament to timelessness of the work!  At we understand that more is learned from a failure than from a success.  Using this principle, we hired only men and women with at least three divorces as consultants for our book. – Where Excellence is a Possibility!

Here are some additional excerpts…

Love Intercedes –You cannot change your spouse – but here’s what you can do.  You can become a “wise farmer.”  A farmer cannot make a seed grow into a fruitful crop – even though that’s what a seed is supposed to do!  A farmer cannot argue, manipulate, or demand it to grow and bear “fruit.”  But the farmer can withhold sun if the plant doesn’t respond or slowly drip herbicide on it over time.  And if the plant (spouse) still won’t produce “fruit” suitable to your demands, turn it over to a lawyer who CAN change your spouse.”

Love is responsible- Love doesn’t pass the blame or justify selfish motives – which is why love is myth like winged horses and panda bears.  Before you can love anyone else you must learn to love yourself…ergo, true love is concerned with its own needs before dealing with another’s satisfaction.  Look, your needs are your NEEDS.  True love understands this.  When love forces you to take responsibility for your needs, it’s on behalf of your spouse.  This may be difficult for your spouse to understand so explain it often.”

Love is thoughtful- If you don’t learn to be thoughtful, then you’ll wind up like everyone else – and is that so bad?!  Thoughtfulness give you opportunities to demonstrate love however, you run a fifty five percent chance that your spouse won’t appropriately appreciate what you’ve done.  Fifty-five rounds up to one hundred percent so…  The best use for thoughtful behavior is to make up for your own stupid actions (if you’re dumb enough to admit fault) or to manipulate your spouse. 
Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship but it’s really, really easy.  Further – a woman deeply longs for her husband to be thoughtful and/or find a million dollar bill in his dirty pants. Both are keys to helping her feel loved and quiet.”

Love is not irritable- Some people have the motto, ‘Never pass up an opportunity to leave your spouse with the kids.’  We do too.  Tee times, hunting seasons, and hair appointments are often not negotiable!  Spouses often fail to understand the finality of these events and so become irritable when they are left with the kids.  Are they not parents too?!  When schedules get tangled, quickly take full advantage of it by expressing how hurt or frustrated you are about it.  Then remind them that, ‘True love is not irritable.’  If they become aggressive remind them that this is the opposite reaction of love.”

Author: Phantaveous Ghast

I'd rather teach giant roaches to do circus tricks on a street corner in Haiti than wear a pair of skinny jeans.

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