Laying A Dodo Egg

This post is part of an archive.  To read the current version, we recommend  “Laying Dodo Eggs.”

My college education forced me to write an avalanche of papers all pertaining to theory and rarely facts. I was asked to fill papers on subjects with the same consistency of clouds. I’m exaggerating here, but subjects like, “Sniffing salt and its effect on low income students” or “Fireproofing your ceiling, Great lesson introductions using real fireworks!” were commonplace.

In an effort to give our thinly structured ideas some sense of respectability, professors required sources. A quote from any published nobody would more than suffice. Unfortunately, I wrote papers at one o’clock in the morning in the year 3 BI (before internet) and our college library was closed. (From 12:00 to 5:00 is EXACTLY when college libraries should be open! Off set the costs by closing from 5:00 Friday afternoon to 5:00 Sunday afternoon.) I tried using the sports magazines in my room but was only able to use the article on athlete’s salaries in my lessons on scientific notation.

That’s when I made an important discovery…Dodo Eggs. They were sitting in the back of my brain the entire time! Books I’d read in previous lives housed by Buddhist monks living in the Andes Mountains of Uganda and carefully protected by the Irish royal family. I knew quite a few authors with reasonable sounding names. In fact, I could recall entire passages from their groundbreaking research done at the University of Somalia.

I initially feared that my professor’s had never read any of these sources but as it turns out…they had! My papers flew through with nary a B. Since that time, Dodo Eggs has symbolized any of my ideas that are presented with earnestness and filled with…